motherhood

My second son is now one month old. I'm not sure how this happened or how one second I was a carefree child, and now I'm a mom of two adorable boys. Ok, so maybe it wasn't a matter of seconds even though that's what I felt like. It's amazing that this is my life right now. I'm extremely blessed and thankful to God for the family I have. Cory and Milo are the best gifts in the world, and I could not want anything more.

Now that I'm a mom of two I have learned a few things. I have learned that the newborn stage is easy as pie. Everyone warns you when you are pregnant the first time about how hard it is to be up at night, feeding a baby every two to three hours, and changing 10 diapers a day. It all sounds so scary, and it all seems incredibly overwhelming until you do it for the second time. About that time you realize how easy it was the first time around and how much you should have spent time resting and enjoying your baby instead of worrying about every little thing. It's all about perspective. Cory is our guinea pig. He's the first one to do everything, so we are learning from our mistakes with him. I'm sure this is what every new parent does, but it's unfortunate. It's unfortunate that I can't go back in time to when Cory was a newborn and enjoy the heck out of it before he grew to the next stage. He's now a very active, wild, imaginative, crazy two year old who keeps us so busy that we fall down at the end of each day. He's so much fun, and I love him more than life, but he's at a difficult stage. He's always getting into things, constantly disobeying and keeping us running 100 miles an hour all day every day. If someone would have warned me about this stage, I think the newborn stage would have seemed much less terrifying. I am, in turn, able to enjoy Milo right now much more than I ever did with Cory. I find myself saying much less often "I can't wait until he...."and saying much more often, "I love what he's doing right now".

All that being said, in my 2.5 years of being a mother, I know that each stage comes with good things and bad things. As difficult as Cory seems right now, he's also so much fun. He says the funniest things, and repeats everything he hears with his adorable raspy voice. He melts my heart to pieces every time he sings along to music in the car, tells me he loves me and runs to give me a hug and a kiss every morning. Those are things Milo can't do yet, and as blissful as the newborn stage seems the second time around, I know that there are amazing things to come. I'm sure once Cory is out of these "terrible twos", there will come a whole new set of challenges and joys. Basically, what I want to share with any new mom is that every stage of motherhood is extremely difficult and extremely rewarding all at the same time. Take each moment for what it is, and don't rush anything. They will frustrate you, they will defy you, they will love you, they will entertain you, and they will definitely grow up too fast, so enjoy all of it.

the two year old conundrum

People warn and advise you about many things when they find out you are entering the world of parenthood. One thing people forget to mention, or maybe they intentionally don't mention it so as not to scare new parents out of their minds, is the stage of the two year old. Yes, I've heard of the "terrible twos" and I've babysat two year olds that were mildly unruly at times, but I had NO IDEA what I was in for as a mother of a two year old. A strong willed two year old at that.

Let me start by saying how much I love Cory. He is such a joy in my life, and he makes me smile everyday. He's awesome. This is where the trouble really lies. If he were just to choose whether or not he wanted to be wonderful or terrible, parenting this stage might not be as rough. The problem is when he's snuggling, laughing and having fun one second, and throwing a complete fit and disobeying the next. Now, I'm a woman, and I was rather recently a teenage girl, so I know a thing or two about flighty, uncontrollable emotions, but I absolutely cannot keep up with this kid. I know that this stage goes away so quickly, and I know to cherish every moment and I try so hard. Sometimes I look at him and know that I'm going to miss how he looks right now and all the adorable things he says. However, he pushes my buttons so hard sometimes that it's hard not to wish this stage away. Cory's a smart kid. He understands almost everything I say, but somehow he goes deaf when I say the word "no". It's like we aren't even on the same planet. 

I know every mom is completely with me on this. For the ones who are here with me right now going through the same thing, I'm sure you're chiming in with Amens across the board. For those of you who have just recently pass this stage, I bet you're breathing a sigh of relief to have made it through with some sanity left. But for the moms who have grown children, I know this is where you laugh and say sentimental things like "it goes so fast" and "don't ever wish it away" because I think there is a bit of romanticizing going on in your minds that help you forget the hard stuff and focus on the good, which is exactly what we should all do. When I lay Cory down at night, I want to sit on the couch with my bowl of ice cream and think over all the fun we had that day. I want to think about every hug, every kiss, every laugh and every hilarious conversation we had. I want my mind to immediately forget any disobedience and discipline that was given through the day. Wouldn't it be great for young moms to have that perspective now instead of having to wait until their kids are grown and living through it themselves as parents? I'm not saying I'm there yet at all, but I'm hoping that I can get there soon and be able to use the same thoughts when it comes to the sweet newborn boy that will be joining our family in a few months. 

I want to remember the good in each day and free my mind of the bad.

"once i'm done with school"

After 6 1/2 long years of going to school while getting married, going through a deployment, buying a house and having a baby, I have finally finished college. There were many times that I did not think I could do it, and it seemed impossible. Especially when I had to retake Accounting twice and ask for multiple extensions (oops), but here I am at the end, and it's unreal that I really did it. I actually have a college degree. I don't have any real intentions of using it right now, but I have it and I did it. I'm not usually proud of myself for very many things, but I am pretty proud on this one. I took a full load of classes the semester Cory was born and the semesters after. It was crazy, terrible, and frustrating, but it's over. I have learned a lot about myself and what I can do with focus and determination. I'm thankful for this example of what I can accomplish with God's help. He led me through this journey, and He made it possible to finish. I am so thankful that it's over, but I am so thankful that it happened as well.

Now, what to do with all of my free time....KIDDING, I have a list that I've been compiling for the past few years that's labeled "once i'm done with school"

Once I'm done with school I will....
read for pleasure because I never have
take naps and not feel guilty about it
organize every drawer, cupboard and closet that has been neglected
finally organize our family budget
work hard on building up my business
take time to breathe, rest, and recover
enjoy time with Cory without thinking "I should be doing homework"
watch entire seasons of tv shows on netflix
Sleep in
Stay up late
and enjoy life!

two years

Two years ago on November 6 at 11:14 PM after a VERY long day, I got to meet Cory Harper Buwalda. I didn't know very much about him then other than the fact that I already had so much love for him. He was adorable, perfect and squishy and I just loved him. Every day with him, I learned a little more about him and a little more about me. He's my little buddy. Now, after 2 years, I know a lot more things about him:

He loves baths
He loves suckers, cookies, tootsie rolls, carrots, popcorn, yogurt, fruit smoothies, and cereal
He loves balloons
He love the vacuum
He loves anything that makes him feel like a "big boy"
He loves to sleep
He lovest to swing
He loves music, dancing and singing
He loves his family
He loves our dog, maggie (even though the feeling is not mutual)
He loves ringing the doorbell
He loves taking walks
He loves riding in the car, but loves it even more when we get where we're going
He loves elmo, barney, blue's clues and backyardigans
He loves all 10 of his stuffed animals plus two blankies that he has to have to go to sleep
He loves riding the train in chicago
He loves playing games on the iPad
He loves wearing glasses
He loves giving hugs and kisses

He doesn't love being told no
He doesn't love peas, green beans, meat, bread
He doesn't love being buckled in his high chair
He doesn't love sharing toys
He doesn't love messes, especially on his hands
He doesn't love when things aren't exactly the way he wants them to be

Some of these things, I'm sure, are true with all kids his age, but the list speaks for itself to say that Cory is a pretty happy guy and he has a lot of joyful things in his life. There are days that he tests my patience, but I wouldn't trade any moment with this kid. He is so sweet, loving, happy, wild and funny. I'm so excited to see the man that he becomes, but more excited to enjoy every second I can with him before that.

embrace it

So here we are, it's November 3. Not sure how that happened or when summer even started. My life has been one crazy whirlwind this last, well few years actually. I embraced fall early this year and I got my fall decorations out early and we picked pumpkins early, and it was nice. I got tired of fighting something that was all around me. I used to wait until October 1st or at least until I needed a jacket outside, but this year I decided to just embrace it and enjoy it early because everyone else was. Well, I'm here again. Everyone is talking about Christmas and listening to Christmas music and my instinct is to say, "NO, it's not even thanksgiving yet, you can't skip a holiday!" However, I'm realizing that there is this really awkward "in between" time after Halloween until Thanksgiving. Yes, I have A turkey and I leave up my pumpkins, but what else is there to do before thanksgiving. There are no presents to buy, no costumes to plan, there's really nothing other than express gratitude for everything in your life (which I absolutely am doing). Anyway, I've decided that Thanksgiving is basically apart of the Christmas season. Why does the magic of Christmas have to wait until the day after Thanksgiving. I want to celebrate it as long as possible! All that to say, I'm listening to Christmas music today. And I'm loving it. Why fight it anymore. It's here and it makes me happy, and on days that I can hardly get off the couch or open my mouth from fear of vomiting (sorry, too graphic) I need something that makes me happy. Even if it's as simple as Christmas music on Pandora.

"It's the most wonderful time of the year..."

step 1...2...3...

It is the middle of August. Seriously? I mean, really, I hate making cliche statements about how fast the time goes, but for real. August. Anyway, I think it's time I update any "followers" on my food changes that I wrote about in the spring. I have made a lot of changes since then that have actually stuck....surprisingly. I'm not going to get into all the details, but I am an extremely picky eater and have tried (and failed) to fix that many times throughout my life. Something is different about this time. I'm not sure if it's that I'm more informed, or maybe that I'm more motivated. Whatever it is, it's working, and I'm making huge changes that are causing noticeable differences in my daily life. 

Let's start with step 1. (by the way, these steps are absolutely not thought out and I am making them up as I go...I don't know how many steps there will be or even what they are. I hardly know what step I'm on right now) For the first step, I cut out a lot of food that I had become so accustomed to eating and rarely thought about them being bad for me. I certainly wasn't naive to the fact that they were bad for me, but I wasn't really aware of why they were bad or to what extent. I cut out (almost) all of the foods that had any sort of artificial colors and flavors, and anything with hydrogenated oils or high fructose corn syrup. This was a daunting task because seriously everything I was used to eating had all of this stuff. Once I was informed about how bad this stuff is for my body, I was too disgusted to eat it anymore. That helped in implementing a quick change to eliminated the bad. The next step was to replace that bad with better choices. Mostly what I'm talking about here is snack foods. Meals are a whole other ball game for a whole other step. I started buying all natural snacks including crackers, cereal, cheese, yogurt and even cookies. All natural meaning that they are made with whole foods and whole grains instead of fake junk. This step was actually pretty exciting because I realized I didn't have to actually give up snacks, I just had to find different brands that made better versions of the snacks I enjoy, and honestly, some of them are better than the ones I used to eat. We made this change pretty much overnight. It was costly, but it was completely worth it. Now it is just second nature. I haven't even tasted Lucky Charms or Ritz Crackers since we switched, and I like my new versions better. (Mom's Best Mallow Oats and Back to Nature Classic Rounds). I started feeling a little better after we made these first few changes. I felt better because of the junk I had taken out of my diet, but I also felt better about the idea of actually making changes in my diet. 

The next step (2...or 3...or something) started last week. My friend, Leah, has taken it upon herself to help/coach me along in this journey, and I am beyond grateful for her help. I met with her last week, and we talked about the issues I have with food and the progress I've already made, but also the progress that still needs to be made. I have conquered a lot with changing our snack foods and switching to organic milk and fruit, but there are still these 3 giant hurdles to overcome everyday, and they are breakfast, lunch and dinner. I cannot call what I'm doing changing my diet if I'm not changing my actual meals. The meals are much harder to overcome because they consist of a lot more varieties than what I'm ready to try. Either way, it must be done. We've started with the most manageable of the three: breakfast. For the last 7 days, we have made smoothies for breakfast. These aren't just any smoothies. They are mega smoothies packed with tons of nutrients that I haven't had in my body since I was forced to eat green beans at the dinner table when I was 5. Our smoothies have a banana, a peach, strawberries, yogurt, milk and get this: spinach. I know it sounds crazy, but let me tell you what, they are delicious!!! And besides that, they are so ridiculously good for me! Kai and Cory love them too. I have been amazed with the difference in how I have felt just after a week of introducing these "new" foods. I've completely skipped my usual 10 am blood sugar crash, and I haven't taken any naps all week. These might not seem like that big of a deal, but for someone who has about 3 sugar crashes a day and can barely function without a nap, they're huge! It's crazy to think that one drink in the morning can make that big of a difference, but it has. 

So, that's where I am right now. I have a long way to go and many more changes ahead, but I'm proud of myself for how far I've come, and I can't wait to see what else is in store and how much better I can feel when I conquer more. For anyone still reading by this point, thank you for letting me share my journey with you. I would appreciate any prayers and support that you can offer because this is a tough road ahead. I know I'll have weak days where all I want is pizza (heck, that's actually everyday), but I hope that one day eating healthy will become second nature and I won't have to try so hard to overcome weaknesses. Here's to taking on step 4...or is it step 5? Either way, I'm ready! 

summa summa summatime

It is now July 8 and I finally feel like summer vacation has started. We had a lot going on throughout May and June including visitors, finals, sickness, a garage sale, a wedding shower, a wedding, two chicago trips and more visitors. It was all really fun, but it kept us very busy. Now that "summer" has started around the Buwalda house, we are ready to relax, have fun, play in the water as much as possible, hang out with friends, and enjoy time together as a family before school starts again in August and time starts speeding by.

Here is a glimpse into some of the fun we had over the last two months:

 Family pictures

 Cory had his 18 month check-up

 Played at the park a lot and wore sunglasses ALOT

 First Tincaps Game

 Hit up some garage sales

 Lots of reading and tests

 Visits from family and playing with iPads

 a family of sickies

 laundry, laundry, laundry

 hiding from tornadoes

Office/Playroom organizing

 Chicago Trip #1

 First trip to the zoo

 Haircuts

 Another Tin Caps game

 Cousin Slumber Party

 Garage Sale

 Lots of slide time

 Hard Work

 Welcoming Daddy home after two weeks of training

 Cleaning

 Potty-ing (not really)

 Chicago Trip #2

More Cousin Slumber Party-ing