Well, I have been MIA for quite awhile. This always happens to me a month or two into the semester when I get behind in school and overwhelmed with life. I'm doing fine, though, and I intend whole heartedly to finish this semester on time and enjoy a 3 month break before starting my FINAL semester before graduation. EEEEEP!
Today, however, I'm taking a break from school. My mind is running a million miles an hour and school just doesn't fit into the tornado of thoughts today. I went to Mom2Mom today, which is a ministry at our church for moms to come together and connect. I knew ahead of time that we were having a speaker come and talk about nutrition and wellness...blech. I sooo wanted to skip. I hate hearing about it because I know I'm guilty of one unhealthy eating habit after another, and I've tried time and time again to "cure" myself of this. It just wasn't happening. I didn't see the point in going to hear another lecture on how I need to stop eating pizza and start eating chicken and veggies and beans....please. However, amidst my angst and judgments, something inside was telling me to go, so I went. I went with a closed mind and a chip on my shoulder, but I went...and boy am I glad I did! God spoke to me very clearly through this talk and I knew He meant it. Jill Sell was our speaker, and she said so many brilliant things that I could not even begin to repeat any of the wonderful things she shared. All I can say is that my mind and heart were literally ripped open. I clung onto every word she said and I took it so deep into my heart. Something inside of me changed today, and I don't know for sure where it's going to take me, but I know it is going to bring about huge changes in my life. I am 24 years old and I want to live a long, healthy and energetic life. I can't do that if I don't make some changes in my eating habits. For anyone who knows even the slightest bit about me, this is going to be a shock, but before anyone comes at me with the "oh, you could never do that" or "yea right, Tracey" comments, I want you to hear my heart and know that God is making this change in me. There is no way on earth that I could change my eating habits on my own. Trust me, I've tried. I am only going to be able to do this with God leading me. I know He has big plans for me in my life, and it is my responsibility to take action to make my body healthy so that I can live out His plans. I haven't actually formulated a plan, but I have put some people in place to talk to who can help me through this journey. It's going to take a lot of work, a lot of patience, a lot of tears and a lot of prayer, but I am determined to change the way I eat, so that I can have confidence in my eating habits instead of hiding them.
So there it is. A plan....sort of. I covet your prayers and encouragement through this time. It's going to be rough and it's going to take changing a lot about what my mind tells me about food, but I know that God can make this change in me.
So, let's all sing it out with David Bowie...
"ch-ch-ch-ch-changes, turn and face the strain...ch-ch-changes..."
