motherhood

My second son is now one month old. I'm not sure how this happened or how one second I was a carefree child, and now I'm a mom of two adorable boys. Ok, so maybe it wasn't a matter of seconds even though that's what I felt like. It's amazing that this is my life right now. I'm extremely blessed and thankful to God for the family I have. Cory and Milo are the best gifts in the world, and I could not want anything more.

Now that I'm a mom of two I have learned a few things. I have learned that the newborn stage is easy as pie. Everyone warns you when you are pregnant the first time about how hard it is to be up at night, feeding a baby every two to three hours, and changing 10 diapers a day. It all sounds so scary, and it all seems incredibly overwhelming until you do it for the second time. About that time you realize how easy it was the first time around and how much you should have spent time resting and enjoying your baby instead of worrying about every little thing. It's all about perspective. Cory is our guinea pig. He's the first one to do everything, so we are learning from our mistakes with him. I'm sure this is what every new parent does, but it's unfortunate. It's unfortunate that I can't go back in time to when Cory was a newborn and enjoy the heck out of it before he grew to the next stage. He's now a very active, wild, imaginative, crazy two year old who keeps us so busy that we fall down at the end of each day. He's so much fun, and I love him more than life, but he's at a difficult stage. He's always getting into things, constantly disobeying and keeping us running 100 miles an hour all day every day. If someone would have warned me about this stage, I think the newborn stage would have seemed much less terrifying. I am, in turn, able to enjoy Milo right now much more than I ever did with Cory. I find myself saying much less often "I can't wait until he...."and saying much more often, "I love what he's doing right now".

All that being said, in my 2.5 years of being a mother, I know that each stage comes with good things and bad things. As difficult as Cory seems right now, he's also so much fun. He says the funniest things, and repeats everything he hears with his adorable raspy voice. He melts my heart to pieces every time he sings along to music in the car, tells me he loves me and runs to give me a hug and a kiss every morning. Those are things Milo can't do yet, and as blissful as the newborn stage seems the second time around, I know that there are amazing things to come. I'm sure once Cory is out of these "terrible twos", there will come a whole new set of challenges and joys. Basically, what I want to share with any new mom is that every stage of motherhood is extremely difficult and extremely rewarding all at the same time. Take each moment for what it is, and don't rush anything. They will frustrate you, they will defy you, they will love you, they will entertain you, and they will definitely grow up too fast, so enjoy all of it.

the two year old conundrum

People warn and advise you about many things when they find out you are entering the world of parenthood. One thing people forget to mention, or maybe they intentionally don't mention it so as not to scare new parents out of their minds, is the stage of the two year old. Yes, I've heard of the "terrible twos" and I've babysat two year olds that were mildly unruly at times, but I had NO IDEA what I was in for as a mother of a two year old. A strong willed two year old at that.

Let me start by saying how much I love Cory. He is such a joy in my life, and he makes me smile everyday. He's awesome. This is where the trouble really lies. If he were just to choose whether or not he wanted to be wonderful or terrible, parenting this stage might not be as rough. The problem is when he's snuggling, laughing and having fun one second, and throwing a complete fit and disobeying the next. Now, I'm a woman, and I was rather recently a teenage girl, so I know a thing or two about flighty, uncontrollable emotions, but I absolutely cannot keep up with this kid. I know that this stage goes away so quickly, and I know to cherish every moment and I try so hard. Sometimes I look at him and know that I'm going to miss how he looks right now and all the adorable things he says. However, he pushes my buttons so hard sometimes that it's hard not to wish this stage away. Cory's a smart kid. He understands almost everything I say, but somehow he goes deaf when I say the word "no". It's like we aren't even on the same planet. 

I know every mom is completely with me on this. For the ones who are here with me right now going through the same thing, I'm sure you're chiming in with Amens across the board. For those of you who have just recently pass this stage, I bet you're breathing a sigh of relief to have made it through with some sanity left. But for the moms who have grown children, I know this is where you laugh and say sentimental things like "it goes so fast" and "don't ever wish it away" because I think there is a bit of romanticizing going on in your minds that help you forget the hard stuff and focus on the good, which is exactly what we should all do. When I lay Cory down at night, I want to sit on the couch with my bowl of ice cream and think over all the fun we had that day. I want to think about every hug, every kiss, every laugh and every hilarious conversation we had. I want my mind to immediately forget any disobedience and discipline that was given through the day. Wouldn't it be great for young moms to have that perspective now instead of having to wait until their kids are grown and living through it themselves as parents? I'm not saying I'm there yet at all, but I'm hoping that I can get there soon and be able to use the same thoughts when it comes to the sweet newborn boy that will be joining our family in a few months. 

I want to remember the good in each day and free my mind of the bad.