unplugged

I am currently recovering a 4 day "holiday" from my computer. It was not necessarily a planned or even desired holiday. We moved offices at work, and they needed our computers for the weekend to set things up. To avoid waking up early Saturday morning to bring it in, I left it Friday afternoon and just got it back today. At some point over the weekend, I made the decision to "challenge" myself to go 4 full days without it. I ignored the fact that Kai's laptop was in the drawer downstairs and I stayed unplugged for 4 days. Before you get too impressed or give me too much sympathy, I should share that I did have my iPhone, which is essentially a small computer, but it's just not the same. I don't use my phone for all the things I do on my computer simply because it's easier to type long emails, shop online, write, or do anything with pictures on my computer. So, even though I had my phone, it was still very difficult to go this long without having my computer. I so wish that I could share that I had some sort of wonderful experience to prove that we do not need all the modern technologies that we have today, but I can't. In fact, I realized how much I do NEED (want) my computer. As sad as it is, my life is very reliant on this machine.

At first, the idea of not having my computer around meant that I could tackle some other projects that needed my attention. However, we cleaned the house Friday and finished all the laundry (which never happens), so I couldn't do either of those things. Kai had drill for the weekend, which eliminated any projects and organizing that I needed his help with (taking down Christmas lights) I don't start school until January 31, so I didn't even have homework to do. Coming off of a month so busy that I barely had time to breath, I was shocked that I actually had "nothing to do" during Cory's naps. It was wonderful, but it was also a little uncomfortable for me because I am always busy. I don't know how to not be busy. So, what did I do these 4 days with "nothing to do"? Well, I took some naps, watched lots of TV (probably too much) worked on Cory's baby book (which, sadly, is still not close to being done), and organized some cabinets and drawers that needed attention. I wouldn't say that I was incredibly productive, but I was able to focus on something things around the house that often get ignored when I'm busy with everything else. It was nice to focus on those things, but I am beyond happy to have my computer home again.

memory monday

I had to write an autobiography for my Child Psychology class last semester, which got me thinking about some childhood memories. I decided that I would start "Memory Monday" for my blog and share some of those memories. Sounds fun, right? I thought so.

Since it's January, I think it is fitting to share a few memories including cold and snow. I was born and "raised" in Texas. I moved to Indiana when I was eleven, which is why I can't completely consider Texas as my home during my entire "raising". Anyway, Texas isn't typically known for having snow. It's not that we never had snow. Sometimes there was "snow", which was more like tiny balls of ice that would fall and collect in small piles on the ground. Whatever it was, it was a big deal for us. I remember going outside in the middle of the day in elementary school if it started "snowing" and we would all just stand around on the playground looking up at the sky and catching snow in our mouths. It was like we had been living in a cave and had just seen sunlight for the first time. Since snow was not very common, sledding was definitely not a common occurrence. However, I remember a particular winter that we got a big snow. By big snow, I of course mean less than one inch. You could visibly see the grass and driveways, but this did not stop us from attempting to sled. Our neighbors across the street from our house had a VERY steep driveway, so it was the perfect sledding hill. All the kids from the neighborhood gathered together to go sledding. Now, let me help paint this picture by explaining that we certainly did not have sleds. No, no. We had to make do with what Texan children have, which was, of course, pool supplies. We used inner-tubes, rafts and also trash can lids. They probably did not work as well as real sleds, but then again, there was less than 1 inch of snow/ice, so it probably wouldn't have been a great sledding experience regardless.

When we were a little older and lived in a different house, we had a little bit bigger snow storm. If my memory serves me correctly, snow covered the grass and roads. I have no idea how many actual inches of snow there was, but at the time, it seemed like a large amount. There were some kids in the neighborhood from Michigan, so they came out with ACTUAL sleds and they organized a real snow ball fight. We gathered around in the cul-de-sac and threw real snowballs at each other. It was such a blast.

Those are my only real memories of snow in Texas. My family went on ski trips every year to Colorado or New Mexico, so we had seen real snow before, but having it at our home was a different world. When we moved to Indiana, we were in shock of all the snow that was actually at our house that we could play in. It was a lot of fun.

Well, there it is. A few small memories of my childhood. I'm sure there will be more to follow...

a battle of wills

Cory is now 14 months old. I can't believe it. As sentimental as I am about his babyhood slipping away, I have other intentions for this post. As Cory gets older, we delve deeper into understanding his personality and the things that he likes, and of course, the things that he dislikes. I would like to take a moment to share with all of you the person that my little baby is turning into.

Cory is hilarious, and he absolutely loves to laugh. It doesn't take much to get that belly laugh out of him, and it truly melts my heart every time. He laughs at everything. He is definitely ticklish, but he laughs the most when I dance around and almost tickle him. He just cringes in anticipation and thinks it is the funniest thing. He's always been a very smiley baby, and I absolutely love that about him.

One of Cory's favorite things is music. Almost any kind of music stops him in his tracks and catches his attention. He will do one of the following to show he likes the music that's on: 1) he will bounce up and down really fast, or 2) he will shake his head back and forth really fast. He hasn't quite mastered tempo and rhythm, but we've got time for that.

Another thing Cory loves to do is sleep. He sleeps more than any other child I've ever known, which is great for our busy full-time student/part-time employee schedules. All you have to do is say, "Cory, are you ready to go to sleep?" and he gets giddy with excitement.

Cory also adores bath time. He crawls as fast as he can upstairs and to the bathroom as soon as we announce it's time for a bath. He loves the water, and he loves to splash. We know that when he gets a bath, we will have to change clothes afterward seeing as they are soaking wet from all the splashing. Since he has eczema, he can't get a bath very often, but when he does he is the happiest kid on earth.

Now that I've painted a picture for you of the happy-go-lucky baby that Cory is, I would like to counter that by introducing Cory's dark side. After my brother, Tanner, Cory is the most stubborn person I have ever met. He absolutely will not do anything that is not his idea. This is one of the main reasons that he is still not walking. Although, we just found out that his right foot turns inward, I am convinced it is his stubbornness that has prevented this milestone. If we try to make him stand up, sit somewhere, or do anything that he doesn't want to do he throws his arms in the air, bends his legs and slides all the way down to the ground. Yes, it's a little bit funny, but it's mostly frustrating. The most frustrating part for me is knowing that it will only get worse and he will only get more stubborn as he gets older (reminder: I saw evidence of this with my brother) An example of Cory's stubborn nature and the inspiration for this post happened during Cory's "naptime" this morning. Cory is a baby that LOVES a schedule. He put himself on a strict schedule for naps, and he thrives on it. His morning nap is from 10:00 to 11:30 every day, so at 10:00 today I put him down, and he was of course giddy with excitement. I came downstairs and noticed after about 10-15 minutes that he was standing up and talking, which is not like him. Usually, he is asleep within minutes. I figured he had a dirty diaper, so I went to change him and put him back down. I assumed he would go right to sleep, but instead he decided to start a screaming fit. He screamed off and on for about an hour. I went in half way through to rock him for a minute just so he could calm down enough to go back to sleep. After he calmed down and looked very tired, I gave him cues that it was nap time and he got very excited. The second I shut the door the screaming continued. I decided to give him until 11:30 to fall asleep. At 11:20, I started to get nervous and had decided that maybe the morning nap wouldn't happen today. I had accepted it and moved on. I stuck with my plan of 11:30, and at 11:25 I looked at the monitor and what do you know, he was asleep. This is just one example of the "battle of wills" that we experience on a day-to-day basis. I know that this is not unlike many other children, but I fear for what the future holds for this child. Before I talk more about my brother, I want to give a disclaimer that I truly love him. He is such an awesome guy, and we have always been very close. He is very talented and creative, and I know that he has so much in store for his future. Having said that, he is certainly a VERY stubborn person. When he was a child, it was a battle to get him to do ANYTHING. We fought to get him out of bed in the morning, get him to get ready for school, get him to do his homework, get him to take a bath, get him to get out of the bath, and get him to go to bed. It was never-ending and it continued all the way through high school. Tanner just has his own mind, and nobody in the world can change it. I fear that Cory will be like this, and honestly I don't know if I have the strength to parent another Tanner. I do know, however, that God gave me this child and He gave me the gift of being Cory's mom, and I am so grateful for that no matter how stubborn Cory gets. I love that little guy more than life, and he is such a joy to have around. I just know that we will have many battles of wills, and I pray that God gives me the strength and patience to live through them all.

plans

"'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the LORD, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future'"

Jeremiah 29:11

This is my absolute favorite verse. I'm sure that I share that opinion with many other people. I love this verse for so many reasons. Every time I read it, I feel complete escape from my perfectionistic instincts to create plans for everything in my life. Trust me, this is a freeing feeling for someone like me. This verse also gives me comfort in knowing that any decision that must be made in my life has already been written out for me by my wonderful creator. God has made plans for our lives and He, and only He, can fully understand them. The other comfort I have in this verse relates to God's provision. Kai has a tattoo on his back that says "Jehovah Jireh", which means God, our provider. When he got the tattoo, at the wise age of 17, we both made a commitment that we would always trust God's provision for our lives, and we have done so ever since. God has proven Himself to us many times by providing in times that we didn't see how it would be possible. He continues to show this in our lives, and I am so thankful for that.

new year, new focus

The month of January, for me, is a month to breathe. After a whirlwind of a month called December, I need an entire month focused on resting and breathing. I have the whole month off from school, so I intend to live. it. up. December was so ridiculous that I honestly do not remember resting once. This January, more than any other, I am planning to really get back on track with some things in my life. I plan to clean out every closet, drawer and corner in our whole house. I want to know right where everything is, and put things back where they go when I use them (what a concept). Usually, by the time fall hits, I am so overwhelmed with everything, that I cannot even think about focusing or refocusing anything. Now I have the time, so I better do it. Here are just a few things I need to redirect my focus to:

1. God- He is somehow never at the top of my list, which is just unacceptable. I am making a commitment to Him this year to be my first priority each day.

2. Money- Now that Kai has gone back to school, we don't have much of this, so the small amounts that do trickle in need to have a serious purpose. I have never been one for budgeting only because it's easier not to, but now I have no choice. I am making a commitment to budget every penny, so that we know where our money is going and what we can actually afford.

3. Food- For those of you who know me well, this is a big deal. For those of you who don't, well....another post for another day. I am an extremely busy being a student, employee, wife and mom. Because of this, I need energy to make it through the day, and to have that energy, I need to monitor what I am eating and make sure that everything I eat will boost my energy and not tear me down.

4. Family- Last, but most certainly not least, I want to focus on my family. I have strong desires to make lasting memories with Kai and Cory, and I do not want to take the time I have with them for granted because I am tired or stressed. I wish we had the time and money to have fun together all day, but since we don't, I have to make a commitment to focus on them when we do have the time together.

With these commitments, I need accountability. It is easy to make personal commitments that nobody knows about, and therefore, nobody can help with. I need accountability and people to check in on me and make sure I am focusing on what needs to be focused on. This January will be a month for new routines that will hopefully live on once school starts and things get crazy. I need to manage my time, energy and resources in a way that I can accomplish what I need to accomplish while also enjoying myself. I guess the reason for this post is to make a public statement to my friends and family sharing with you all what I need to focus on, so that you can check in with me and help me along the way.

I love having a fresh start at the beginning of a new year, and I am hoping that these new commitments will continue on past this year and hopefully require less refocusing and committing next January.