procrastination

I honestly don't know how I can want so badly to avoid something, but it inevitably sneaks its way into my life. What is that something? Procrastination. Every upcoming project that arises begins with a go-get-em attitude where nothing can stop me, and then somehow many many many days pass and all of the sudden I'm left with a fast approaching deadline and lots of work left to do. This happens with everything in my life, but it happens most often with schoolwork. Every. Single. Semester. It's exhausting. I start out every semester saying, "I will get things done on time" or even "I will work ahead and get things turned in early" Nope. Never happens. Instead, what happens is that I get so ridiculously far behind that I sometimes have to drop classes because there's no possible way that I can finish. Well, this semester is no different. However, the big problem is that I am graduating in May and I cannot drop any classes. If I do, I can't graduate on time and I will lose financial aid. Pretty serious consequences. So basically, I don't have a choice. I have to finish. Let me briefly express some of the deadlines I have this month so that you might get a small glimpse into the stress I have for the next few weeks.

The following is a list of the homework assignments I have left to do before December 16. Yes, that is 16 days away. I'm aware.

9 Accounting Homework Assignments

4 Accounting Tests

1 Accounting Paper

1 LARGE Economics assignment

1 Economics Final Exam

1 Novel to read and paper to write for Child Psychology

1 Assignment for Child Psych (including 3 interviews and 3 papers)

1 20-Page Paper for Child Psych

1 Final Paper (4 pages) for E-Commerce

In addition to all of that school work, I have a baby shower to host, a job that I have to get ahead on because I will be missing two weeks in a row due to vacation and sinus surgery, a very active 13-month old to take care of, a house to keep semi-clean, Christmas gifts to buy and wrap, and a vacation to pack for. This isn't packing like I usually do when I stuff our car full of anything we could possibly need while we're gone. No. I have to pack for all three of us to go on an airplane. We are restricted to 4 checked bags including 2 snowboard bags and a pack and play, and we can only have 2 carry-ons each which will be filled with infinite activities to keep Cory quiet on the plane. My head is spinning just because of the thought of taking Cory on a plane. I am grateful for the education I am getting, I am grateful for a wonderful job and VERY understanding boss, I am SO grateful for my sister-in-law and her wonderful baby boy that will be joining our family, I am so grateful for Cory and my house that I need to clean, and I am extremely grateful for the chance to go snowboarding in Utah with my family. This gratefulness, however, does not take away the overwhelming stress that I am experiencing because of all of these wonderful things.

I want no pity from this post. I brought it on myself. What I do want is to explain to everyone I know why I may not be responding to e-mails, texts, phone calls or facebook messages for the month of December. All my homework is due December 16. Then, we leave for our trip Dec. 17 and return on Christmas Eve. December 28th I am having sinus surgery. My goal is to basically just survive through the month December. So, here's to December...I hope I make it through alive and in one piece. See you all in January. Thank you, procrastination, for taking over my life once again.